by Ana M '14

Breaking Dawn Part 1 Movie Review

For those who don’t know (or should I say don’t care, because everyone knows, whether they want to or not), Breaking Dawn, the what-should-be-the-last-but-Summit-entertainment-decided-that-they-haven’t-made-enough-money-off-it-yet-so-they-broke-it-into-two-so-technically-second-to-last movie of the popular Twilight series came out a couple of weeks ago. I’m not sure how to describe it, because there are many factors that go into determining its quality. Was it bad compared to the books? Bad compared to the rest of the movies? Or just bad compared to good taste and common sense? Either way, there’s a common theme here, and its that the movie was bad. Don’t get me wrong, I, like most people was a fan of the Twilight movies and books once. I, like most people, have learned from my mistakes and moved on. (If you’re still a Twilight fan, don’t worry. I can promise you, it gets better.)
But even if this movie came out when I was still a young, naive fan girl, I can bet my Team Edward shirt that I still wouldn’t have liked it. (I don’t actually have a Team Edward shirt. God forbid I ever walked into Hot Topic). Most of the movie was Bella sitting down, looking a straight up MESS, and the rest of the characters getting into non-fights, showing how much the writers have stopped trying. Seriously, there was only one fight scene, and it lasted about as long as Kristen Stewart can keep eye contact with someone. So like 3 seconds at the most. Robert Pattinson actually showered to film the movies, which either adds to or takes away from his appearance depending on who you ask. This doesn’t have anything to do with how bad the movie was, its just an observation.
Jacob’s presence in this film, like in the other films, was completely unnecessary. More so in this movie seeing how his shirt stayed on most of the time. There weren’t nearly enough “getting emotionally damaged, tearing off my clothes and running into the woods” moments. Every scene he was in was completely ridiculous, from the part where he’s yelling at the other wolves in a deep, growling voice while still managing to speak perfect English, to when he imprints on Bella’s newborn baby, which is almost as creepy as Bella’s dad mustache. Despite this, he still wasn’t the most annoying character in the movie. Bella managed to go from slightly deluded and partially irrational to completely cray-cray. Girl knows full well that she is carrying the spawn of Satan, but this never once dawns on her, and instead, protects the baby as if it isn’t a menace to society. I just wanted to give her a giant slap across the face, and a Big Mac. And the whole drinking human blood thing- why? Just why? I know the whole series is based around the fact that Stephanie Meyer can just come up with whatever she wants and put it into novel form, but all logic flew right out the window, down the street, and into the bucket of tears that JK Rowling shed when she read the first Twilight book and laughed hysterically.
In conclusion, Breaking Dawn was the worst movie of the series, which is no small feat, considering how hard the other ones sucked. The CGI and special effects were well-done, but if they spent more time writing the script and less time digitally adding a face to Bella’s newborn baby, the movie probably wouldn’t have made me question Stephanie Meyer’s life choices. Either way, I miss Harry Potter.

By Mr. Lakhaney

TOK Teacher

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